And no matter how much I tried to prepare… it still hit hard.
I thought I’d be ready for this.
I’ve done the Kindergarten drop-off twice before. I knew what to expect: the oversized backpack, the quiet ride home, the lump in your throat when you realize it’s the start of something new.
But somehow, this time… it’s different.
Because he is my last baby.
And that changes everything.
He was born during the pandemic; when the world felt quiet and uncertain. I remember those early days so vividly. The way he’d fall asleep on my chest after a feeding. How I’d stay perfectly still so I wouldn’t wake him. How I’d binge-watch shows while waiting for him to wake up. I would stay in this position for hours. Not because I had to; but because I wanted to.
We spent so much time in our bedroom; my husband even gifted me a mini fridge to make it easier for me. It became our little cocoon; our safe, quiet place in the middle of all that uncertainty.
And somehow… it still doesn’t feel like it was enough.
I soaked in everything I could.
The way his hand reached for mine.
The way he hugged my neck.
The kisses. The snuggles. The “I want you, Mommy.”
I was present. I held on tightly.
But now that Kindergarten is five weeks away… my heart is still catching up.
Because the truth is; it never feels like enough.
This season: the one filled with sticky hands, waking up way too early, and tiny voices calling “Mommy” every few seconds; it’s the one we want to stretch just a little longer.
No matter how intentional we try to be, time still keeps moving.
And the calendar keeps turning.
On the Season of Letting Go (Just a Little Bit More)
If you’re in a season like this too; letting go of what was while stepping into what’s next; I see you.
Whether they’re starting Kindergarten, middle school, or college… these transitions are big.
And the in-between moments; the ones that feel ordinary until they’re gone; they deserve to be remembered.
Not because your child is growing too fast (even though they are).
But because this season, right now, is worth holding onto.
If you liked this post, you might also like:
Letter To My Kindergartener (First Baby)
Letter To My Last Baby As He Turns 1
Letter To My First Child As She Turns 10
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‘Til next time,
Belle
